5 ways to involve your groom in the wedding

All photography: Ed Jones Photography

Article by Emma Krieger

Admit it. You’ve been planning how your wedding day will play out since you were a little girl. From your dream dress to exactly the right shade of pink your flowers will be, you’ve had the complete picture down to a tee.


While weddings are often thought of as the female preserve, ultimately your wedding is a celebration of and for both of you, so it makes sense for it to reflect each of your wishes and personalities.

Contrary to popular belief a lot of men these days do want to be involved in the planning process. Perhaps not down to the itty-bitty details like the perfect cake topper or what flowers will go in the bridesmaids’ bouquets, but today’s groom definitely wants to feel in charge of some of the aspects of the big day.

Moreover, planning your wedding day with your partner is a unique chance to spend together those last days before you officially marry each other and plunge into the everyday issues.

With this in mind, we’ve put together five ways to help you plan your wedding day together, with as little stress as possible and more importantly, without World War III ensuing!


Ask your groom-to-be what he wants

Before you embark on the planning path you need to sit down as a couple and figure out exactly how you both envisage your wedding day panning out.

If you have your heart set on a traditional, formal sit-down affair and your partner is ready to pack his boardies and head to a tropical island to say ‘I do’ then you’re obviously going to have issues.

Ask your groom-to-be what kind of wedding he has in mind from the outset. Is there anything in particular that would make it really special for him? Does he have any objections to elements you would like to incorporate? And ultimately, just how involved does he want to be in the planning?

Involve him in the tasks he’s interested in

Since this is an event that celebrates who you are as a couple, your wedding should be a reflection of both of you.

Is there anything your guy is really passionate about? Is he a music snob, foodie, car buff, writer, expert traveller? If so, assign tasks accordingly.

Let him plan the ceremony music or pick out the DJ, or if you’ve decided to set up your iPod and speakers at the reception, have him create the playlist and enlist a willing tech-savvy guest to help out with the process.

Alternatively, have him select the food, arrange the getaway car, write your vows or coordinate the honeymoon.

Or simply ask him which areas of the wedding planning he would like to be responsible for.


Set aside ‘wedding time’

Designate a day or night each month for ‘wedding time’ instead of bombarding him all at once or at random times. Or get the wedding party together for a monthly wedding session and make a fun night of it.

If you feel like once a month doesn’t allow you enough time to get on top of the planning process, set a weekly half hour ‘catch up’ to go over your to do list together.

Learn to compromise

It really should go without saying, but you need to be prepared for a bit of give and take. Make sure you are open to your groom’s thoughts and ideas even though you may not agree with them.

Remember the fun stuff

Wedding planning can be stressful – there’s no getting around it. That can put a strain on your relationship and make it hard to include your man in the planning.

If one aspect of the planning is getting too difficult, then concentrate on something fun for a while, such as the honeymoon.

If you’re feeling really overwhelmed try putting the whole thing on hold for a week or two. Have a ‘date night’ when all wedding talk is off the cards, and reconnect in the way you did before the whole planning process started.

Most importantly, remember why you’re doing this – so you can spend the rest of your lives together, not just the one ‘perfect’ day.


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