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Your wedding day will be one of love and joy, but most weddings also come with a variety of tense exchanges and awkward moments – an unenthusiastic bridesmaid, an interfering relative, a delicate discussion about who’s paying for what. Defusing these conflicts with grace is a must in order to maintain your sanity and keep the peace.
Opinions can come out any time – from the friend who’s not a fan of the red wedding shoes you’ve fallen in love with, to a grandmother who’s surprised to see you’ve swapped the three-tiered wedding cake for a tower display of chocolate brownies.
As the bride, it can be hard not to take these opinions to heart, but remember they’re not a personal attack on you. If the opinion seems to have good intentions, take some time to explain why you and your partner made the choice that you did. Maybe your grandmother doesn’t know that chocolate brownies are the groom’s favorite dessert, and that the recipe is his grandmother’s favourite. Once she knows you’re trying to create a personalised alternative to a traditional wedding cake (and not throw out tradition for the sake of it), she’ll probably be more receptive to the idea.
Any negative feedback that is delivered with an element of bitterness or jealousy is worth ignoring. A warm smile and a “Thanks for your opinion, I’ll keep that in mind,” or “We’ve already discussed these decisions in detail, and won‘t be able to change them now” is an easy way to curb those conversations.
Avoid the temptation to lash out and fire back at naysayers – it will likely do more harm than good. Remember that if you and your fiancé are planning the wedding you’ve dreamed of, and are happy with how the wedding planning unfolds, your smiling face will be enough to fend off most of the criticisms you are likely to receive.