You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you’re feeling depressed and nothing comes close to making you happy. No, you haven’t just lost the love of your life; you’ve married him. So what’s the problem?
Well, chances are you’ve just held the party of a lifetime and come home from a fun and sex-filled honeymoon. Married life is just beginning, and there’s absolutely no reason to be unhappy.
You’ve probably heard of post wedding depression, but didn’t think it would happen to you? Well, according to Relationships Australia, many people feel sad, flat or experience feelings of loss after any event that has been particularly exciting, such as a holiday or a wedding. Yet weddings exaggerate these feelings, because they’re such a big event, where the spotlight is firmly upon the bride and groom. It’s not uncommon for brides, and to a lesser extent grooms to feel down once the wedding is over, that they may wish to speak to someone about it.
If wedding planning had become a habit, where you always had something to do, something to plan, somewhere to go, and people to celebrate with, many newlyweds return from their honeymoon and wonder what comes next. They feel a sense of something missing in their lives.
So, how do you avoid feelings of loss when the last of the champagne has been drunk, and the honeymoon is fast becoming a distant memory?
First, consider some preventative measures: the time during your engagement is a great time to consider your emotional needs, and not just wedding planning. Pre-wedding counselling, and simply sitting down to some open conversations with your partner about their values, ideas and beliefs can help to overcome problems once the big day is over.
Second, find a new passion. By transferring some of that pre-wedding energy into a whole new interest and keeping your body and mind active on something else, you’ll go a long way to alleviating the post wedding doldrums. It could be yoga, kick-boxing, kite-flying, cooking classes, mountain biking, or learning how to fly a plane! Whatever it is that you love to do.
Third, spoil yourself as a couple. Make the most of your new relationship and get involved in new things that you can both enjoy doing as a couple. Be it watching a new movie, playing sport together, meeting up for a drink at the same time each week, or just taking long walks together. Remember if both of you are feeling low once the wedding day is over, talk it through as a couple. It’s a great way to build trust into your relationship, after all.
Finally, once your wedding day is over, remember that you did such a great job of planning every last detail, you need to continue on that theme, and plan for a great life beyond your wedding.