Reaching out when planning your wedding

Planning your wedding can be tons of fun. Although let’s face it – it can also be tons of stress, and it’s a lot of work to do on your own. However, help is usually not far away. Wedding planning is often something that friends and family want to get involved in.

Just remember, that if you decide to employ the services of a wedding planner, then delegating tasks to them is relatively simple. But when your friends and family are offering help, you need to make sure they feel like an honoured guest by helping you (and not an overworked slave!). Here are some tips to keep your friends and family in good spirits while they work.

Accept offers graciously

From the moment you announce your wedding date, you’re likely to receive offers from people who want to help. Take them up on their offer – they aren’t offering just to be nice. They want to be part of your celebration. So allow them to lend a hand.

Allowing them to lend a hand works even better if you can match particular tasks to your friend’s or family member’s skill set. If your best friend dabbles in calligraphy and wants to address your wedding invites, get the invites to him or her ahead of time (and let them know that you consider this to be their wedding gift). If your grandma is famous for making jam, let her share her skill (and her recipe), as a wedding favour.

Avoid making friends and family work during your wedding

As gifted as your friends and relatives might be, there are some jobs they can’t do and still be able to enjoy your wedding. Leave those roles to the professionals. Your videographer, for example, has to be shooting – and not mingling with guests. Your bridesmaid might be a great hairdresser, but if she has to do everyone’s hair before the wedding, she’s likely to be more than a little frazzled by the end of the day.

Know what you’re getting

Know the quality of the work your loved one is offering, and make sure that it’s up to your standards for your wedding. Just because it might be free doesn’t mean it will fit in with your wedding plans.

Choose those you trust

Choose people you trust to do a good job. You probably already know if a friend is reliable, or if they’re just too busy to help, so use your judgement.

Be clear about what you need

With wedding suppliers, you’ll have a contract so that everyone knows what’s required, but that’s not possible with a family member. One way to solve this is to email or send a note to them specifying what you need, and when you need it. That way, your loved one can always refer to it. Give your friends and family plenty of time to complete their chosen tasks, and make sure to thank them for their help in advance.


For everyone who uses their time and resources to make your day a fantastic memory, you need to express your gratitude. Don’t automatically expect friends and family to work for free. Be willing to pay them if they will let you. Even if they don’t ask for payment, be sure to give them a nice gift and a big hug as a thank you for all their help!

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